Iron Maiden and Judas Priest not the same

Am I the only who thinks its odd when people constantly match Iron Maiden and Judas Priest together as if they make the same kind of music. Often people claim that "band X sounds like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest". The band in question is often a meaningless metalband who sounds laughably not like Maiden and/or Priest. But the strangest thing is that Judas Priest and Iron Maiden don't really sound that alike. Whats the difference? Well Iron Maiden's music sounds a lot more complex and varied than that of JP. You will never hear Judas Priest play songs like 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner', 'Alexander the Great' or 'Phantom of the Opera'. Iron Maiden uses galloping rhythms that you dont hear with Priest who sound a lot more tighter and groovier. Just listen to 'Piece of Mind' and than compare that with Screaming For Vengeance it's a very different approach. The lyrics of IM are more fantasy orientated while Judas Priest's are a lot more grounded in daily life.

This ofcourse has nothing to do with the music. That people compare bands with Iron Maiden and Judas Priest has nothing to do with the music but its more a way of showing that those bands are 'old school metal'. This is a fundamental error because IRON MAIDEN AND JUDAS PRIEST FOR CHRIST SAKE DONT MAKE METAL!! They are hardrock bands and all those dorky metalbands must never be compared with such legendary acts. Metallica, Testament or Mercyfull Fate are 'old metal' so campare all those sucking bands with them. This is a typical example of symbolic comparison. These lazy comparisons are made because of the (suposed) association with the band not because the group they are comparing it to sounds the same. Just like people compare bands with AC/DC or Motorhead (another terrible pairing) because they are so-called simple sounding while you could compare them to all the other hardrock bands because heavy metal is by definition simple music. Or when people rather annoyingly compare bands who write cathcy songs with the Beatles. Stop it! I've got only one thing to say about this: FUCK SYMBOLIC COMPARISONS!! A band must sound like a band to be compared to that band. That's that. Iron Maiden and Judas Priest don't sound like each other so there is no reason to compare bands with them. If anybody is gonna mention those bands together again i'm gonna lynch them.

 

Guitar Institute Of Apathy

You will probably have noticed this yourself but don't you get annoyed when a guitarist is asked about his influences you allways hear the same awnser: Yngwie Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai. YAAACH! That really works on my nerves. This is typical of the predictable way of thinking of the average metalfan. Clearly we are supposed to think that these guitarists are very good because they play incredibly fast. This is a perfect example of the naive way of reasoning that you get with metalheads because there are enough gitaristen who don't play as fast as the corny names mentioned above but make a lot better music with a lot more feeling and inovation. The whole shred guitarstyle is one of the worst things to happen to the world of guitar. This kind of soulles playing has given technically acomplished guitarplaying a bad name. I give all those Yngwie Malmsteen type guitaristen that you got in the late80s and 90s the blame for all those sloppy and amateurish guitarists that have come up since Nirvana and Green Day. The shred-guitarists have scared of people from playing in a proper way and caused many people to start playing in a deliberately crappy way so that we are stuck with crap like White Stripes and Blink 182. Which is understandable to a certain extent cause if I only knew guitarplayers like Steve Vai and John Petrucci I would hate technically accomplished and fast guitarists. Thankfully I do know better and I know that the best music is made by musicians that know how to play well. I am sure if all those young guys would hear guitarists like Joe Walsh, Michael Schenker, Rory Gallagher or Alex Lifeson they would throw away their crummy indierock cd's and will be motivated to play their instruments well. Those guitarplayers are real craftsmen that play with a lot of emotion are creative and still play very fast. The idea that technically acomplished guitarists are empty soulles musicians is absolute rubbish but ofcourse all those Allmusic Guide/Rolling Stone followers will try everything to convince you otherwise and urge you to listen to all that trendy crap like Pavement and Beck.

What surprises me the most is when people mention the overated trio is that the music they make has nothing to do with those musicians. Yngwie, Vai and Satriani are hardrock guitarists what have bands that make metal got to do with that. It's allways powermetal guitarists that mention those guitarplayers as influence. You would expect people that make that kind of music to site the guitarists of Helloween and Blind Guardian as their inspiration. But ofcourse they wouldn't unoriginality is what powermetal is all about. Also deathmetal bands and even hardcore acts cite the infamous trio as a big influence. Unbelievable! But doing what people expect of you is what metal is all about and if the rest of the metal target-audience cite the three musketeers of shred-playing you as genuine metalhead follow suit. And now we have come to the main cause of that awfull shredstyle. The 'Guitar Institute Of Technology' the infamous music-school in Los Angeles. That name allready sounds so horribly clinical that fits perfect with the insipid style that people play there. It's more like a factory assembly line where guitarists are squeezed into a certain style of playing instead of being encouraged to develop their own style. And ofcourse the shred-style is the norm. Don't even think about doing something else. They probably have a statue of Yngwie Malmsteen in their schoolyard. Lets not forget their little propaganda magazine Guitarworld that focusses more on who can play the fastest instead on genuine talent. My advice for guitarists who have just started playing their instrument avoid the Guitar Institute Of Dullness and all those other boring music-schools as the plague and try figure out for yourself how to play guitar. Rock n roll is music of the streets not the conservatory. Let's hope the Guitar Institute Of Technology gets blown up maby we will get some creative guitarists again.

 

Hardrock records not in the metal-section

I may be the only one but dont you get extremly irritated of how record-stores divide their music in the shop. There is nothing as annoying as going into a musicshop in search of a cool band and that their cd is in the metal-department. Clearly there are idiots that think that hardrock bands like Rainbow, Iron Maiden or Motorhead make the same music as all those stupid metalgroups. Then they are totally ignorant because people who are fan of old rockmusic consider it a big insult to stick such great bands inbetween all that metalcrap. Can you still remember in the 80s and the 90s (when people actually knew something about music) you used to go to the cd-store and hardrock groups where allways put in the hardrock segment. If you would look on the sticker of cds of AC/DC, Whitesnake or Ozzy Osbourne you would allways see under the bandname and title gloriously the word hardrock. You didnt even think about using that awfull M-word. Unfortunately the musicbusiness is nowadays run by all these autistic nerds who have a completly bereaucratic and incorrect way of catagorising music which results in great bands like Dio, Scorpions and Nazareth ending up among totall trash like Cradle Of Filfth, Avantasia, Morbid Angel and Epica. The worst thing is that people start associating these legendary bands with all that metal-rubbish. But ofcourse thats exactly what they want you to think. People must be discouraged to listen to hardrock and the best way to achieve that is to let people think its metal. Everyone that has an IQ higher than that of a jellyfish dont want to have anything to do with that metal stuff. Thats why its so incredibly important to explain to people that hardrock is totally different music than metal. So please do us a favour and give hardrock its own space so we can avoid any more confusion. But why should hardrock have its own section anyway. I dont see why hardrock cds couldnt be included in the ordinary pop/rock department. Its not as if that kind of music is so different than say U2 or Nirvana. Its understandable that metal gets its own segment because its much more extreme and brutal than ordinary rockmusic. But hardrock is accesible and mainstream enough to be part of the popsection. This way a lot of people who arent familiar with hardrock music can get to know these bands. And maybe a Radiohead or Foo Fighters fan will see an Accept or Skid Row record and think to themselves, hey why not.

 

Iron Maiden not for wimpy guys

One of the big mysteries in the world of popmusic is the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' by the band 'Wheatus'. Beside the fact that its an awfull song, the singers has an annoying voice and the lyrics are terrible the whole point of the song just doesn't make any sense. The song is a about a guy that gets bullied because he listens to Iron Maiden??? What the fuck has Iron Maiden got to do with losers that get bullied at school. What gives the guys that are responsible for this song the idea that insecure nerds would listen to a genuine hardrock band like Maiden. Iron Maiden is a 100% pure jockrock band were dorks, geeks and losers are not welcome. This is more a band for the bullies than for the ones that are getting bullied. The funny thing is i'm not the only one that has noticed this. My mother heard this song on the radio and even she thought it was odd that a nerd would listen to a band like Iron Maiden. Totally right and my mom does not know anything about rockmusic and even she thought those lyrics were stupid. I mean there must be better examples that fit better with what the song is about like groups like Blur or Blink 182 that are arch-typical nerdbands. Or ofcourse powermetalacts like Steel Prophet or Edguy or perfect examples of what bullied kids would like. What surprises me is that people take this. You would at least expect that rockfans would get enraged by this put the members of Wheatus on a scaffold and throw rotten vegetables at them. Unfortunately nothing happens. The modern wellbehaved rock/metal audience just accepts it. I on the otherhand feel like chopping the bandmembers of Wheatus to pieces with a chainsaw. These kind of bands want you to think that heavy rock is music for losers. Well then they are completely wrong because heavy metal has never been music for kids that get teased. Not that hardrockers are ultra-macho guys they are just not the kind of guys you can fuck around with and who can perfectly hold there ground.

 

Motorhead. No Punks allowed!

This is one of those annoying myths that just works on my nerves. How in heavens name do people get this stupid idea that Motorhead is something that is related to punk. Motorhead is a 100% pure hardrock band where punks and similar types are not welcome. Unfortunately all those so-called rockfans of today are completely ignorant so that these kind of misunderstandings slip into the musicscene. Because of this we are constantly bombarded with retarded comments like ''Motorhead has a lot of punk energy" or "Motorhead is more like punkband than a heavy metal group''. People that say this kind of crap should be thrown to the lions because it's first class nonsense.Calling Motorhead a punkband is heresy. It is like building a satanic chuch on the grounds of Vatican City. Don't even think about it. It may come as huge surprise to all those brainwashed rocknerds of today but in the 20st century punks totally hated Motorhead and rightfully so and anybody who dared to call Motorehead a punkgroup could expect to get a big punch in the face. Nobody saw a connection between Motorhead and punk which is totally logical because heavy metal is totally different music than punk. Punks are polically correct dorks that live in squats while Motorhead and heavy rock bands in general are more Easy Rider guys that ride Harleys. 

It's only in the 21st century with the arrival of luckyrock bands like Peter Pan Speedrock and Zeke that the confusion started. Even though these bands do not sound at all like Motorhead this caused the impression that they were making punk-related music and ofcourse all those stupid punks are fooled by this. Unfortunately there are no real rockers anymore who resist this bullshit. They are replaced by all these faceless metalheads who have zero selfconfidence and who believe everything that Kerrang or the Metalarchives tell them. What surprises my the most is when people think Motorhead sounds different from other hardrock acts. As if they make completely different music. This just shows how ignorant a lot of people are about heavy rock because Motorhead is perfectly comparable with how heavy metal bands used to sound like. There were so many bands back then that played kick-ass rock n roll just listen to the band Riot or the Japanese group Bowwow or Picture all bands that make music similar to Lemmy&Co. But all those buffoons probably think that powermetal is real heavy metal so ofcourse they think that Motorhead isnt real hardrock. I dont understand that "fans" of this band like moronic bands like Nashville Pussy or Hellacopters. You would think that people who like this band would check out the NWOBHM acts and listen to for instance Saxon instead of those luckyrock groups. Or 70s bands like Nazareth, AC/DC, Rainbow or Budgie who clearly have inspired Motorhead. The coin just doesn't drop. So listen very clearly: Motorhead is a fuckin heavy metal band and anybody that calls this a punk band should get shot!!

 

Guns n Roses overrated but not bad

You might have noticed that I think that Guns n Roses is a very overrated band. It's unbelievable that all those misinformed rockgeeks think that they are such a great band while there are much better hardrock bands out there. But I never said they were bad. They are a fairly good band. Compared to all that schlock out there that passes for rock nowadays it is not that big of a surprise that people think they must be a very good band. The genuine hardrock fan knows better and realises that acts like Judas Priest and Montrose are 100 times better. But I want to talk about a bunch of pieces in the NME(yuck) called Sacred Cows about bands they considered overrated. Guns n Roses is one of the groups mentioned. A perfect candidate you might think. But this article is filled with complete crap. You might even start to think that Guns n Roses isn't overated at all but underated judging by what is written here. This piece and the bloke that wrote it are perfect examples everything that is wrong about the post-Metallica generation that completely ruined heavy metal during the nineties. It's clear that this guy is a metalpunk that totally does not like hardrock. He says that the heavy rock of the seventies is retarded music and that conservative hairmetal acts like Motley Crue, Wasp, Poison and Guns n Roses are stuck in that period while "progressive" bands like Napalm Death, Slayer, Carcass and Mayhem are making interesting music. What he actually means is that glammetal bands like Motley Crue, Guns n Roses make real heavy metal similar to the bands from the 70s/early80s and that groups like Slayer and Napalm Death and those other crap bands he mentioned are actually just a bunch of vegaburger-eating punks who have nothing in common with real heavy rock.

You must at least give him credit for being honoust that he thinks hardrock is shitmusic and that bands like Slayer en Napalm Death are fake-heavy metal groups who by the way are absolutely not progressive or refreshing. But clearly guys like this think that progression means playing as loud, fast and stupid as possible because intelligence and musical values do not play a role in metal. Then he starts complaining about that they are such racists and sexists. Why? Because he uses some swearwords? Making insults has nothing to do with racism and all that stuff. Racism means that there is inequality in a society and that there are different rules for certain ethnic groups in a country. Axl Rose can make as many insulting remarks as he wants it is still not going to have anything to do with racism or sexism. Everybody with a little bit of common sense is gonna understand that a song like 'One In A Million' is made to express a certain dissatisfaction not because there is some serious hatred under it. But this is probably way to honoust and direct for all those metaldorks. They want to make heavy metal a wellbehaved and predictable style of music so that it becomes safe for all those wimpy Pitchfork hipsters. It's time to put an end to all this nonsense and people including the fool that wrote this piece who are offended by lyrics about 'chiks' or 'tits and ass' must be kicked out of hardrock music immediately. It is totally understandible that you think that Guns n Roses is overrated but definately not for his reasons. Than you can just as well consider GnR the best band in the world. But what do you expect of hardrocker that writes for the NME. Than you know it's going to be bullshit.

 

Heavy metal. Not a Lifestyle!

We all know the images of from all those stupid metal-documentairies like 'Global Metal' or 'A Headbangers Journey'. All those fat tattoed buffoons with ugly piercings in their mug and ofcourse a wall of devilhorn-salutes. But what annoys me the most are meaningless remarks like "metal is lifestyle", "We are one family" or "metal is part of my identity". What a gigantic rubbish. It's clear that they are just repeating what they hear other people say. 99% of people we say this stuff won't be listening to metal in a few years time. They will have grown over it (rightly so) dress like normal people do and listen to music like Simply Red and Maroon 5. Nobody likes metal because the feel any genuine affection for the music metal is way to shallow and IQ-destroying for that. They listen to it because they want to be part of a group. They are just a brainless sheep who confuse their urge to follow the herd with genuine passion. So forget about all that stuff about lifestyle/subculture/identety they are just adapting to the rules of the metal-target audience. How different this all was in the rational 70s/80s when hardrockers would never say the stupid rhetoric listed above. Nobody gave a damn about subculture or identity. It was all much more about the music. Rockers were just fans of a band or music that typical hardcore mentality didn't really play a very big role then. Ofcourse there was a sense a comradery in hardrock but it was more like with football fans. You don't say about somebody who is a big fan of Manchester United that he is part of a "Manchester United subculture". Or somebody who reads Batman as being part of a "Batman subculture". That's how it just to be with heavy metal. Hardrockers are just normal mainstream guys who just happen to like loud rockmusic. The whole target audience-mentality came later and has only caused a lot of trouble. So don't let people stick you in to a subculture you are more than your music taste.

 

No more covers please!

The only thing worse than nobody covering your songs is being covered by a band that sucks.  It's painfull to hear that a song from your favorite band gets totally raped by a bunch of imbecils who have absolutely no understanding of what their music is all about. A perfect example is the cover of the Iron Maiden song 'Hallowed Be Thy Name' by Cradle Of Filfth. This embarrasing remake of the IM song used to be played a lot at a bar where I used to go. Each time the song came on I felt like throwing the cd-player out of the window and strangling the bandmembers and the person who put it on. It is baffeling that some Maiden fans see this as compliment. Iron Maiden fans who do not feel like puking when they hear this aren't real IM-fans. Period! The most typical example of this are the cover-songs of Metallica. Metallica should keep their filfthy hands of bands like Diamond Head, Budgie, Thin Lizzy, Lynyrd Skynyrd etc. It's just makes you cringe when you hear those great classic rock tunes getting the ugly Metallica metal-treatment. Even worse are Slayer remakes of Iron Butterfly "yuck!", Judas Priest "Blaargh!" (My little white plastic bag is full-up now). Let them cover punksongs that clearly is more up their alley. It's also terrible when fairytale-metalgroups like Hammerfall (Kiss, Accept, Twisted Sister), Iced Earth (AC/DC, Judas Priest, Alice Cooper) or Nightwish (Gary Moore) make their intelligence and musical taste insulting versions of classic songs. As if the fans of such bands will start respecting those nerdmetal acts. I seriously think that bands like that should get fined for playing those great songs. So metalheads don't even think about covering hardrock bands.

 

Good musicianship. Absolutely important!

We know all the cheap excuses that particulary punk and alternative rock acts use to justify their crummy music. Naieve statements like "technique isn't important it is all about the emotion" or "I think making a good song is more important than playing solo's". Because bands that play well make soulless music and all those charming ramshakle bands with their playfull amateurism are genuinely creative. HAHAHA!! I laugh in the face of such ignorance! Just listen to all those crappy bands that you get nowadays like Hellacopters, White Stripes, Libertines, deathmetal etc. and you will understand that good musicianship is important. Ofcourse expressing emotions is important but the best way to do that is to play your instrument properly rather than playing in a sloppy way. Somebody that is genuinely interested in playing their instrument well will be more eager to be creative or inovative than somebody that's only interested the latest fashion or following the newest trend. People who say this kind of stuff are talentless losers who don't really like music and are only interested in socializing with cool people, getting chicks and becoming rich.  Their are no noble ideas behind this. Good musicianship is absolutely essential! It's so important that you understand that. Good musicians know how to write songs. That's the reason why punk or grunge bands do not sound cathcy they miss the expertise to write songs. Bands that are technically accomplished also sound more aggresive. Punk doesn't sound tough because it has a very chaotic and sloppy agression that just does not have any impact. Hardrock bands know how to control agression and to focus it and aim it like laserbeam which makes the music a lot more energetic. You can't get something for nothing. Making good music takes effort and is praiseworthy when done rightly. So no more do-it-yourself and learn to play yer fucking guitar!