Hairmetal

If you listen to all these rocknerds on the internet talking about "hairmetal" you really get the impression that it's the worst music that's ever existed. I'ts everything that's wrong with eighties rock that thankfully got wiped out when Nirvana and grunge come along. Offcourse everybody with even a miniscule understanding of rockmusic knows that this is absolute rubbish of the highest order. Contrary to the bullshit that all those retards tell you on amazon hairmetal is actually fucking great music. Bands like Mötley Crüe, Cinderella, Twisted Sister, Kix, Poison etc. are incredibly good bands that are 1000 times better and more exciting than all those modern day dorkrock bands like White Stripes, Arctic Monkeys, Strokes or Kings Of Leon. Forget phrases like 'hairmetal' or 'glam' they are artificial catagories that have absoltuly got nothing to do with the music. Those bands don't play metal but are 100% pure hardrock acts. They are no different from Judas Priest, AC/DC or Scorpions

It's for that reason that it's complete nonsense that people say that bands like Metallica, Exodus or Slayer are real heavy metal groups and bands like Wasp, Dokken and Bon Jovi are poserbands. It's clear that people who say this are just copying what they heard other people say. The totall opposite is true. It's bands like Mötley Crüe, LA Guns, Ratt or Dio who continue the old-fashioned heavy metal sound of the 70s and early 80s not that stupid thrashcrap. In the eighties people did consider "glammetal" bands as real heavy metal. People only started to use derogative descriptions like 'glametal' or 'hairmetal' in the 90s. Offcourse the only reason people think "glam"bands are wimpy is because of the make-up. People nowadays judge bands on appearance not the music. But don't let that fool you the music that those "hair"bands make is really loud and full of honest rock 'n roll agression. They are only glamrock because of the way they look, musically they are no different from non-glamrock hardrock bands. It's for that reason that 'hairmetal' is a bit of an artificial catagorie, a bit like 'whitemetal' or 'southern rock' also styles that are based on non-musical traits 

I would rather describe bands like that as 'american mainstream hardrock' or just 'heavy metal'. But that's exactly the big problem because when people talk about 'hairmetal' what people actually mean is oldfashioned heavy metal. If all those brainwashed indierockers or metalheads say that they hate glammetal they actually hate hardrock music in general. Do you really think that people who hate hairmetal like bands like Saxon, Picture, Grand Funk Railroad or Thin Lizzy? Offcourse not. For them that's also "glammetal". If all those herd-followers talk about "real" heavy metal they probably mean bands like Metallica or Slayer or gorillametal bands like Pantera or Sepultura or offcourse all that powermetal crap that you get nowadays. Not the real heavy rock of the past that genuine HM fans like. If you don't believe me there's a website with list of top 100 glammetal bands. And indead groups like AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, Van Halen where all in it. If bands like Accept, Tygers Of Pan Tang, Moxy or Triumph where more famous they would also be in it. That's not the first time that people have used the phrase hairmetal for "non-hairmetal" bands (take notice of the quotation marks) I often notice that. And rightly so because glammetal isnt at all different from "ordinary" heavy rock. So please don't believe all that 'hairmetal isn't real heavy metal' crap. Bands like Warrant, Quit Riot, Wasp or Skid Row are great bands and 100% pure heavy metal. Everybody that says differntly should be run over by a truck.

 

Arena Orientated Rock

Hardrock music is allready hated very much by the trend-following herd. But the so-called 'arena orientated rock' is absolutly not done according to the music-police. Especially on amazon you often hear these fools complain about "dreadfull" bands like Journey, Boston, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Styx etc. These acts serve as an example of how bad music was in the 70s and 80s and that the punk/new wave/grunge/alternative was much better and exciting than that "commercial" music. All these people who write for amazon should be executed by a firing squad because just as always it's COMPLETE BULLSHIT!! Groups like Boston, Survivor, Kansas or Cheap Trick are great bands who are hundred times more exciting and rock n roll than all that wimpy punk/indie shit. It allways makes me laugh when musicnerds as a supposed more tougher alternative to the AOR bands come up with these wuss-groups like Blondie, REM, Clash or Elvis Costello. You must be kidding! Song like Blue Collar Man(Styx), Don't Look Back(Boston), Back On The Road Again(REO Speedwagon) or Love On The Telephone(Foreigner) blow well-behaved new wave crap like Ian Dury and Buzzcocks to kingdom come. Everybody that isn't brianwashed by the nonsense that musicpapers like Mojo, Rolling Stone or Q-magazine write can draw this obvious conclusion. Unfortunatly the rockworld of today is run by these imbeciles who believe everything that the rockelite tells them.

I allways notice that poeple use the phrase 'corporate rock' for all those AOR groups. As if bands like Boston, Journey or the Babys or just making music for the money and are trying to fit into the trend. Probably lot of people think that all heavy metal acts are "corporate rock".  Offcourse this can be filed under complete rubbish because all the arenarock bands didn't adapt to the mainstream the mainstream adapted to them. The reason bands like that were populair is not because they were "too commercial" but because they wrote great songs that a lot of people understandibly liked and rockfans back then had a lot better taste and weren't fooled by all those fads like punk, disco and new wave were image and following the herd is more important than making good music. It's also rubbish that hardcore hardrock fans think AOR is wimpy and soft music. Only pseudo hardrockers think that. Arenarockers may use keyboards and play melodicly but there is real rock n roll power behind it that makes it pure heavy rock. So don't let them fool you. Bands like Loverboy, Styx, Toto and Rick Springfield are fantastic bands. Period!  

 

New Wave Of British Heavy Metal

This is without doubt the most underated musical style ever. Nowhere has there been so much good music made that has remained totally unnoticed by pop/rock fans in general. Most people only know Iron Maiden and Motorhead and maybe Def Leppard and Saxon. All the other hundreds of bands nobody except for a couple of die-hard hardrock fans has heard of them. What seems odd because all those NWOBHM bands were great bands that made excellent music. If a band like Raven, Vardis, Samson or Demon would play for an unsuspecting audience at say Reading or Glastonbury I'm sure everybody in the crowd would really go wild. That will certainly sound a lot more exciting that all those dorky indierock bands they are used to. There was a lot more variation with all those NWOBHM bands. All those bands had their own style. It's not like metalbands nowadays who all sound the same as if your listening to the same band all the time. How is it that you never hear anything about this kind of music. That's quite simple. The punk-loving rockelite wants you to know as little as possible about this music. All those people who work for pitchfork, rolling stone, allmusicguide and all those other nerdrock websites/magazines like to maintain the idea that heavy metal is retarded, shallow music and that all those bands can only sing about monsters, dragons and fairytales. The idea that there was once a time when hardrock bands weren't moronic and made great music that sounded intelligent, original and rebelious is something that all those ignorant shitpunks would rather brush under the carpet. This is all the more reason to tell people loud and clear that heavy metal music of the past was ultracool and it sounds nothing like the garbage that passes for "heavy metal" nowadays

There are a couple of fundamental misunderstandings about the 'new wave of british heavy metal'. The most common misconception is that people think that all NWOBHM bands sound like Iron Maiden. Let me be very clear about this. The bands from the NWOBHM sound absolutely nothing like Iron Maiden. Anyone who thinks that all those groups had galloping rhythms and long epic songs with a lot of tempo changes are completely wrong. The majority of the NWOBHM acts sounded very simple and sung about normal everyday things. I think people often hear that Iron Maiden had something to do with the 'new wave of british heavy metal' and automaticly assume that all NWOBHM bands sounded like that. Only Iron Maiden sounded like Iron Maiden all the other bands had their own sound. Other big myth is that thrashmetal came out of the NWOBHM and all those trash bands sound like the NWOBHM. This is pure nonsense! All those wonderfull English bands sound nothing like all those stupid and moronic bands like Exodus, Metallica, Testament and Slayer. Listen to records like Master of Puppets or Reign in Blood and the dark and evil music of those records sounds nothing like the music of Praying Mantis, Savage or Diamond Head. They sound way more fun and bluesy. Actually the 'glammetal' bands sound a lot more like the NWOBHM bands than all those speedmetal bands. They may also sound different but you can see some similarities between bands like Motley Crue, Dokken and LA Guns and bands like Saxon, Fist or Witchfynde. The "hairmetal" bands at least had that rock n roll feel that the NWOBHM  bands had. The NWOBHM groups didn't play 'metal' they were oldfasioned hardrock bands. That stupid m-woord should never be used to discribe all those great British hardrock bands of the early 80s. The NWOBHM is a goldmine of great rockmusic.

 

Progressive Rock

According to the rock-establishment progressive rock is the most dullest music there is. This is music made by joint-smoking beardhippies who play neverending keyboard-solo's write lord of the rings lyrics play with orchestra's and lets not forget the obligatory cape. It's all shallow empty bombastic music and we should be thankfull that punk gat rid of it at the end of the 70s. ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!! This is pure punk-bullshit! All those symphonic rock bands were all fuckin great bands. Bands like Yes, Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and Eloy made interesting, refreshing and exciting music that never becomes boring or insipid. To the contrary bands like Emerson, Lake & Palmer, King Crimson or Hawkwind make music that is full of energy and power. Progressive rock may be complex it is definitely not wimpy. It's rubbish that they only play long noodling solo's all the time. Solo-spots are only a small part of the music and all those symphorock bands play long but very coherent songs. Bands like Genesis, Rush and Van Der Graaf Generator had songs that were a whole side long but were interesting from begining to the end without a boring or an uneccesary piece of music in it. 

This idea that progressive rock bands are only bombastic or pompous without being inovative is a complete myth. Symphonic rock can sound bombastic (a more apprapiate word would be grandiose) the music allways has a original and innovative approach that sounds genuine interesting and sometimes even downright strange. When I listen to Genesis or King Crimson I often think to myself "what kind of weird music is this". It sounds really other-worldly. It's not that overblown kitsch music that you often hear with powermetal or gothicmetal bands like Kamelot, Therion, Within Temptation or Trans-Siberian Orchestra. The tolkien lyrics or playing with orchestra's is also something that gets very overexagerated. It's only because of Rick Wakeman having an orchestra on a couple of his records and that Emerson, Lake & Palmer had played with an orchestra on a desasterous tour in the late-70s that that association has stuck with a lot of people. The fact that most PR bands didn't play with orchestra's or that EL&P's early 70s albums had only three men play on them is something seems to elude a lot of people. Also the 'lord of the rings' lyrics that a lot of symphorock bands are supposed to sing about is complete crap. Ofcourse they sometimes sang about that but its clearly one of the many subjects they sung about. They often sang about sociall subjectmatter but that's something all those NME-indiedorks like to sweep under the carpet. It's sound a lot more derogative to say that they sing about wizards or ghosts than realistic stuff. It's not like nerdmetal bands like Blind Guardian or Lost Horizon who can only sing about fairies and dwarfs all the time.

Nevertheless all those converse all star hipsters insist that this is not true and that progressive rock is nerd-music that is only listened by dorks. The only thing that's nerdish here is the kind of music they like because the are complete dorks themselves. Let me make one thing very clear progressive rock IS NOT FUCKIN NERDMUSIC! Symphorock might be smart but that doesn't make it dorkmusic. Unfortunately over the years it has started to sound more like that. The 80s PR bands were are allready a lot less good than the original 70s band. But at least they still had that typical 80s duderock feel that gave them a cool edge. It's in the 90s when we started to get all these boring nerd-prog bands. Acts like Spock's beard, Transatlantic, Porcupine Tree and all those other insipid bands who give progressive rock a bad name. These bands may have a vague similarity to the old PR groups but they just lack the inventiveness, enthousiasm and creativity that the bands from the past had. It just got no soul. Lets not forget progmetal bands like Dream Theater, Symphony X and Pain Of Salvation groups that scare of potential sympfo-fans rather than atract them. So please dont believe all the rubbish that those ignorant clowns tell you. Progressive rock is outstanding music just listen to Pink Floyd, Camel, Emerson, Lake & Palmer or Barclay James Harvest and you'll be surprised by how original those bands are.